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When We Are Not Supposed to Teach Our Kids to Say “I’m Sorry”

Lea Lomas

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I have been the child forced to apologize. Except, I was an adult at the time. Although my actions were reasonable, a manager felt challenged and I had to apologize. That’s when I realized that I’d done this dozens of times to my kids. Thinking back, they always seemed angry. That day, I realized that no one should be forced into an apology. There are valid reasons that parents encourage their children to apologize. The goal is usually to bring a conflict to resolution quickly. Also, they often want to ensure that the child understands that it is not okay to hurt someone emotionally.

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static.kidspot.com.au

So, there is a divide between honesty and virtue. Which lesson wins? Is there a way that both lessons can be communicated? I took a moment to conduct my own research by interviewing the 8-year old in the backseat. I noticed she was relaxed, watching the trees go by and figured it was a good time to pose the question.

Me: Mind if I ask a question?

Her: (Looking confused that I asked if I could ask) Sure!

Me: Okay, you know how sometimes you may have a fight, do something or say things and grown-ups make you apologize.

Her: Yes.

Me: How does that make you feel. (Looking up at her through the rearview mirror, it was interesting to see her light up as though she’d finally been given a change to unburden.)

Her: It makes me feel angry. Like, sometimes I don’t even want to say “I’m sorry” because I’m not. But I still say it because I don’t want to get in trouble.

Me: Well, sometimes don’t you think that you should apologize?

Her: Yes, sometimes. But not all of the time. And most of the time I don’t feel like I get a change to make my point. I don’t like it.

Me: Okay, I just wanted to know.

It was a great learning experience because it was right on par with a study in Psychology Today. In an April, 2016 article by Dr. Denise Cummins, she explains by age group when mandated versus spontaneous apologies are most effective. Mandated apologies can be very effective for younger children, she explains, to improve social interactions. For children beginning around 6-years old the apologies were less sincere and spontaneous apologies become more effective, but should still be encouraged so they learn to build good relationships. It is important, though, to hear them out to understand why they may not want to apologize. The may help you get them to the apology.

She recommends 3 basic steps for helping your child maintain good relationships:

  1. Encourage younger children to apologize so that hurt feelings are addressed and the relationship is preserved.

2.  With elementary aged children, consider whether the apology would be sincere so that there will be true impact in mending the relationship.

3.  Offer to make restitution, whether the hurt feelings were intentional.

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Relive the Golden Age of Air Travel With These Jaw-Dropping Photos!

Mackenzie Freeman

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We may be living in the golden age of technology, but we are certainly not living in the golden age of air travel. If you looked at the cabin of a domestic airplane in the ’50s and ’60s and compared it to today’s models, there would be precious little overlap. In order to bring back some of that luxurious travel of yesteryear, we invite you to fly with us through 35 jaw-dropping photos from the Golden Age of Air Travel.

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Blind Golden Retriever Makes Fast Friends With His ‘Seeing Eye’ Companion.

Sherry Rucherman

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If you are a living and breathing human being like us, you hate to see innocent animals suffer. In 2016, Charlie, a golden retriever, would end up losing both of his eyes due to a medical emergency. As an older dog, Charlie didn’t have to grow up without his vision.  Naturally, his owners were concerned about how their dog would adapt to life without being able to see. They knew that they had to do something to help their furry family member, so they decided to adopt a ‘seeing eye’ dog. If you can sense how cute this story is about to be, get ready to grab your tissues. We wouldn’t blame you if you cried from cute joy.

Adam Stipe adopted Charlie when the golden retriever was just a puppy. After nine years together, Charlie ended up losing his left eye due to complications resulting from glaucoma. Within a year, Charlie would lose his right eye, as well. By this time, Adam and his wife Chelsea had emptied their retirement bank account in order to pay for the treatment that had kept Charlie alive. Adam and Chelsea had also recently become pregnant. Talk about sudden life changes! In order to prepare for the baby, as well as better the life of Charlie, they decided to make a change.

When New Year’s Day arrived in 2019, Chelsea and Adam would welcome Maverick into their home. Maverick was an excitable golden retriever puppy who was ready to make new friends. Adam and Chelsea had adopted Maverick for a multitude of reasons. First and foremost, they wanted to bring a puppy home to help Charlie get around the house. Second, Adam and Chelsea also wanted a puppy to grow alongside their newborn baby. While adding a baby and puppy to your house at the same time can be tough, the loving family managed to work it out!

After a bit of tension, Charlie and Maverick would soon become fast friends. In fact, you couldn’t walk around the house with the two golden retrievers running around together. According to Adam and Chelsea, Maverick quickly became a natural ‘guide companion’ for Charlie. Maverick learned to play with and guide Charlie around all without being told. According to Chelsea, “Maverick would realize that Charlie would lose the toy sometimes, so Maverick would pick it up and put it back in front of him to re-engage playtime.”

Due to Maverick’s kindness as well as Charlie’s own loving nature, both dogs have become the best of friends. According to Adam, Charlie has even begun to play like a puppy again. When Charlie was an ‘only dog’, he wouldn’t want to play nearly as much. Despite all the difficulties that life had thrown at Charlie, it is clear that he is being protected, loved, and cared for by the best furry friend anyone could ask for.

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Can You Believe What These Historical Figures Actually Looked Like?

Lea Lomas

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When we talk about historical figures, how real do they feel to you? Unless you lived during the time that those historical figures were active, you might treat them like concepts more than living and breathing figures. Today, we are going to give you a chance to see some of the most important people from history as they would actually look! Using 3D printing, CT scans, and CGI, teams of researchers were able to bring these forty legends to life!

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